When your wife is having an affair, what do you do with the surge of negative emotions that you feel? Anger, jealousy, grief, depression, and fear swirl together creating a dangerous cocktail of emotions. Not only is this dangerous to your physical health, but it also clouds your judgment during a time when you need to make good decisions.

My counselor shared advice that helped me think about these powerful emotions in a different way. She said they needed to be metabolized. Like food is broken down and processed in the gut, these emotions needed to be digested.

What do you do with the swirl of emotion? The shortcut is to numb the pain. However, the options for numbing pain all end in addiction. They also cloud your judgment, setting you up to make bad decisions for your future.

Even worse, numbing pain does not deal with emotion. The stressors are still there.

What could you do instead? You need to metabolize the negative emotions by taking some practical steps.

Exercise

Intense physical activity metabolizes emotions. Right now is a good time to head to the gym or put on your running shoes. Lifting weights and running are great ways to blow off steam.

As I was going through this season, a large tree blew over in my backyard. For several months my evening routine involved firing up the chainsaw or pulling out the axe. Cutting up this tree, moving the logs, and splitting firewood gave me a physical outlet that helped me release my anger.

After that, I tackled a landscaping project. This required physical energy. It also gave me a sense of accomplishment at a time where I didn’t feel like much was getting done.

Physical exercise is critical. It’s a matter of survival, ensuring you don’t get sucked under by the negativity. Make this a priority.

Sleep

Sleep can be hard to come by during this season. However, you need to sleep to restore your body and mind.

What I discovered was intense exercise or hard work made me tired. This helped me sleep better.

If you are having trouble sleeping, I recommend that you add more exercise to your day.

When my wife left, it destroyed my regular evening routines. I found myself binge-watching the show 24 on Netflix, staying up until the early hours of the morning. After a while, I realized this was not helping.

I began to establish my own nighttime routine, structuring my evenings to wind down and go to bed. This made a huge difference.

Eat

When I was living by myself, I started to develop bad eating habits. Depression tends to affect eating in one of two ways. Either you don’t eat anything or you eat junk.

For a while, I stopped eating. While I needed to lose a few pounds, I dropped over 30 pounds in 90 days. I’m no doctor, but I know that’s not healthy. Plus, I wasn’t giving my body the fuel it needed.

At other times, I found myself frequenting fast food drive-throughs. This wasn’t giving me the fuel I needed either.

Make healthy eating a priority. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Go to the grocery store and stock up on healthy foods. Eat fruits and vegetables. Buy pre-made salads. Fire up the grill on Saturday and cook a bunch of chicken to eat throughout the week.

To deal with emotions you need physical strength. To get strength, you need to eat good food.

Recreate

Make times to do things that rejuvenate you. Recreation in important.

While I was living by myself, I picked up my guitar and started playing every evening. This calmed my soul. In the mornings, I went for long walks. On several weekends, I headed out to the woods for a hike.

Recreation literally “re-creates” us. You need this. Make time for things that restore your heart.

The actions you take right now to metabolize your emotions are critical lifelines. With exercise, rest, eating, and recreation, you are building a foundation on which you can find healing for your heart, fight for your family, and create a promising future.