In the midst of pain and what feels like day-to-day survival, it feels cruel to suggest that you should consider a vision for your future. However, as Morgan Freeman’s character says at the end of the Shawshank Redemption, “Hope is a good thing—the best of things.”

Right now, life may seem hopeless. Dreams have collapsed. Important decisions have been dumped on you. What feels like the new normal is not a reality that you chose.

In the midst of the pain and pressure, consider the power of creating a vision for your future.

As I was going through this season, I knew my life would never be the same. If some miracle led me back to my first marriage, I knew that marriage would have to be different. If I ended up divorced and someday starting a new relationship, I knew that I wanted to do it intentionally.

So, I began to develop a vision for the future. With a blank sheet of paper, I asked two questions:

1. What are some things I would look for in a woman?

2. What do I want my marriage to be like?

I started making a list. Over the coming weeks, I added to the list and refined my responses. Since I was in counseling, I discussed the questions with my counselor. By the end, I had a clear vision of what I wanted out of my life and marriage.

While you might think that this exercise would bring despair, it actually brought me hope. Sure, at that point I was a long way from realizing my vision. However, I could see what a better life might be able to look like. This gave me something to hold on to.

The other thing this brought me was clarity. If my marriage was to be restored, I knew what I was aiming at before I agreed to begin the process of restoration. The same thing was true if I got divorced. The vision would give me an objective way to evaluate options during a time when my heart would hungry and clouded with pain.

In my story, I ended up divorced. While I felt the pull that many men feel jump quickly into a new relationship to soothe their wounded heart, my vision helped restrain me. Knowing what I was looking for kept me from settling. 

When a new relationship became a possibility, I was able to pull out the list of things I was looking for in a woman. As the relationship began, I was also able to cast vision for the type of marriage I wanted to have.

Many years later, I’m thankful for the vision. It brought me hope. It also delivered clarity when I needed it the most. Today, I am happily married to the woman of my dreams. Because of the vision, I recognized her when she showed up.

Do you have a vision for your future? If not, I challenge you to get started. What are you looking for in a woman? What would you like your marriage to be like?

Get started now. Make sure to write it down. This will be an incredibly helpful tool as you move forward.